Frustration!

Yet again, our little world is disrupted whilst Tykling (formerly know as Toddler Tyke) suffers another bout of Strep throat. 
We seem to have got ourselves into a Winter cycle of fortnightly high temperatures with every third becoming a full blown dose of strep.  We went through this all last winter and it seems that we are repeating the pattern this winter too.

For several years, Tykling has been suffering with random and regular very high temperatures that we could not explain.  Initially, we put it down to teething but, once he had all of his teeth, we quickly ruled this out.  The one thing Tykling has never done, is complain of a sore throat.

After a particularly severe bout of high temperatures a couple of winters ago, I had a mad rush to A and E one evening when Tykling (then Toddler) was screaming in agony due to stomach pains. 

I cannot stand to see my little boy in pain, and feel so helpless when he is suffering.  On that particular night, I was convinced that Tykling was suffering some terrible, life-threatening illness.  I had visions of ruptured spleens and all sorts of horrible scenarios.  I'm not a nurse.  I avoid the doctor's at all costs.  The noise coming from my child on that night sent me into pure panic mode.  Once we arrived at the hospital and they finally had Tykling's temperature under control, the doctor made his diagnosis of Strep throat.  I felt terrible.  How did I not know that my son had a sore throat? 

I asked plenty of questions, and along with a good session of googling, I learned that Strep Throat does not always present itself as a sore throat.  Suddenly it all made sense - those high temperatures, the stomach pain, the stiff neck - it was all Strep throat.  My son had been suffering for months and I had been putting it down to teething.

With my new found knowledge, I now knew what to look out for.  The first symptom Tykling will have is a high temperature that comes out of nowhere.  This is usually controlled with Calpol and Nurofen but that doesn't fix the Strep.  After a few days, Tykling will complain of stomach pains.  This is caused by the swelling of the lymph nodes in his stomach.  Around this time, he will start to get terrible breath as his tonsils become covered in white spots and start to weep yellow pus.  By this point, I have usually seen a doctor and got him some antibiotics.  After that, he suffers with a really stiff and painful neck as the lymph nodes in his neck become hugely swollen.

So, here we are again.  Tykling saw the doctor today who confirmed yet another dose of Strep and prescribed antibiotics.  Within 4 hours of starting the antibiotics, Tykling was a new child.  He was eating, he was playing with his toys and he went to bed without the aid of Calpol.  Whilst at the surgery, the doctor we saw confirmed that he did indeed seem to suffer with regular bouts of Strep, and that his tonsils were scarred from repeated infections.  She also recommended a tonsillectomy.  This was the news I was waiting for!  The thought of someone operating on my baby is horrible, but the thought of him suffering every few weeks like this is worse.  Now that he is at school, he seems worse - he is missing out on so much through this illness.  I really worry about his attendance.

So, back to the title of this post - frustration!  A couple of hours after seeing the doctor, we had a phone call informing us that she was no longer able to write a referral letter.  According to guidelines, there are a certain number of times that Tykling has to suffer before he becomes eligible for a tonsillectomy.  Apparently, my child has not yet suffered enough!  Despite the fact that his tonsils are permanently enlarged and scarred, he still has to suffer another 3 times before they will be able to do anything about it. 

Whilst I fully understand that whipping out tonsils on a whim is probably not a good idea - afterall, tonsils form part of the body's natural defence system, surely my child's history is evidence enough that his are not doing the job they are designed for and, infact, causing him more problems that they solve.  Why can't these cases be looked at on an individual basis?  Why does my boy have to suffer at least another 3 times before they look at him?  Frustration indeed!

Choosing a school

As a teacher, choosing a school for Toddler should be a doddle.  I should know all the right questions to ask and exactly what to look out for and expect.  So why do I feel like I'm going to get it wrong?  It is such a massive decision to make and it will affect him forever. 

There are about 5 schools local to us which are options.  Two of them have been ruled out straight away because of their reputation.  I think having insider knowledge is worse because it makes you more picky.  The obvious choice of school in terms of location, progress, attainment, beahviour etc is ideal except for one major flaw.  It has recently moved into the building that I worked in for 10 years.  The building where I met Toddler's dad, where we worked together, where I taught when I was pregnant with Toddler and, ultimately, where I cried a million tears when Toddler's dad left.  It is only a building - bricks and mortar - but it holds just so many memories.  It is the place of my most happiest and my most saddest memories.

Today I conquered my fears of returning in order to take Toddler for a look around to see if it would be suitable for him.  As I walked in the main entrance, my stomach churned.  It was just like the old place.  Even Toddler recognised it (despite not having been there for over a year) and at one point he even tried to run down to the staff room! 

The Head took us on a tour and, knowing I had worked in the building before the refurbishment, took us around the whole school rather than just straight to the early years area.  It was a very strange experience to see somewhere so familiar look so different.  The early years area looks completely different to how it did when it was a middle school and the whole school in general has a different vibe.  Whilst we talked, Toddler made himself a few new friends in reception and had to be pried away from the wendy house. 

By the time we came home, I think I had managed to lay a lot of my demons to rest.  It's the start of a new chapter for our family and that building.  Time to move on.  I know Toddler will be happy there and can start to make his own new memories of what lies within those walls.

So, decision made.  School chosen.  I think...

To sleep or not to sleep...

So, at the grand old age of 3, Toddler has gone for his very first sleepover!  He, of course, was very excited about it.  I'm doing ok - I think!

With such a busy week coming up including the MK baby expo and the Mumpreneur conference and awards, my to-do list is as long as my arm.  This hasn't been helped by the fact that Toddler's nursery was closed last week so I got very little achieved.

One of my lovely mummy friends jumped to the rescue and offered to have Toddler to give me a bit of peace and space to get some work done.  Her son is the same age and they have known each other since they were both tiny.

So, here I am.  Toddler-less.  Forutunately, I have been getting regular text updates and know that Toddler is having a fabulous time.  I have achieved a huge amount in the few hours that he has been gone so all is good.  I'm not concerned about Toddler not being able to settle or getting upset as he often stays away from home when he goes to his Daddy's house.  This, however, is still a huge step in growing up - staying overnight with people who are not his family.  Aw, my little boy is growing up!

So, no bedtime routine to think about, no listening out in the night, no 7am alarm clock.  Sounds great but I still can't wait to see him tomorrow!

What's in a name?

I was thinking the other day about nicknames.  I remember at school that many of the others in my year group had nicknames, although this tended to be mostly boys.  Lots of nicknames are surname based. 

This got me thinking about my own nicknames for Toddler.  He has loads but mostly all a version of the same thing.  These are the ones I use the most:

-          Tickle

-          Tickle monster

-          T monster

-          Bunny

-          Munchkin

I can’t see any of these going to school with him! 

Did you have a nickname?  Do you use nicknames for your children?

Understanding the mind of a 3 year old.

Being a single parent isn’t easy.   I don’t mean the day to day stuff, although that can be a challenge too.  I mean the stuff that appears out of nowhere and throws you.

Toddler has started having issues whenever he comes back from his dads.  Last time, when he got home, he poo’ed his pants for 5 days in a row after being clean for months.  It might have just been a natural potty training blip but it still makes me paranoid that there is something going on in his head.  Every time he comes back, he has an unsettled night.

Last night he woke twice and was really angry both times, crying and kicking his blankets about.  When he got up this morning he was still really angry.  He couldn’t tell me why he was angry but I am now pretty convinced that there is a pattern emerging.

His dad and I have been able to put our personal feelings aside where our son is concerned.  We are friendly and amicable in front of him and we even go for family days out together for Toddler’s benefit.  We still get on as friends and he speaks to his dad every day on the phone and he enjoys looking at photos of himself when he was little and daddy lived with us.  Of course, Toddler can’t remember daddy living at home – he left when Tom was 1. 

He has also started to play one of us off against the other.  Yesterday he told me that when my favourite song came on the car radio, he told daddy that it was my favourite then daddy turned it off and he was sad.  After speaking to daddy, I found out that he did indeed tell daddy it was my favourite song then daddy asked him if he wanted to listen to it and toddler said “no, you can turn it off”.

I wish I could get into the head of a 3 year old and see exactly what is going on.

I have googled the subject to death and found that the unsettled, angry behaviour is quite normal but it still makes me feel guilty.  I am constantly wondering what I can do to make the situation easier for him.  He knows that we both love him and he enjoys the days out that we have together. 

Any advice?  I don’t want to end up with a screwed up angry teenager!

Questions to ask your toddler

I saw this on facebook a few months ago and thought it would be fun to try it out on Toddler then repeat it in a few years and compare his answers.

These are the questions and Toddler's answers aged 3:

- What is rain?                       R R R R R it goes pitter patter rain drops.
- What makes you happy?     When I do a poo on the potty.
- How old is your daddy?      14
- What is Big Brother?           I don't know
- What is food for?                 For tummies
- Why is the sky blue?           'Cus it's supposed to be blue.  Sunny and cloudy and blue.
- Where do babies come from?     Tummies
- What is God?                       I don't know
- What does mashed potato taste like?   Yummy
- What does music make you feel like?   Errr tingly
- What is your favourite flower?      Errrr, green!
- Who is the prime minister?         I don't know
- What is your favourite sweet?     Yellow sweets.
- What do you do on holidays?      We play at the beach
- What happens if you tell lies?     I don't know.
- What happens if an adult tells lies?   You get happy.
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?    In this house.