Monday, 10 September 2012

Understanding the mind of a 3 year old.

Being a single parent isn’t easy.   I don’t mean the day to day stuff, although that can be a challenge too.  I mean the stuff that appears out of nowhere and throws you.

Toddler has started having issues whenever he comes back from his dads.  Last time, when he got home, he poo’ed his pants for 5 days in a row after being clean for months.  It might have just been a natural potty training blip but it still makes me paranoid that there is something going on in his head.  Every time he comes back, he has an unsettled night.

Last night he woke twice and was really angry both times, crying and kicking his blankets about.  When he got up this morning he was still really angry.  He couldn’t tell me why he was angry but I am now pretty convinced that there is a pattern emerging.

His dad and I have been able to put our personal feelings aside where our son is concerned.  We are friendly and amicable in front of him and we even go for family days out together for Toddler’s benefit.  We still get on as friends and he speaks to his dad every day on the phone and he enjoys looking at photos of himself when he was little and daddy lived with us.  Of course, Toddler can’t remember daddy living at home – he left when Tom was 1. 

He has also started to play one of us off against the other.  Yesterday he told me that when my favourite song came on the car radio, he told daddy that it was my favourite then daddy turned it off and he was sad.  After speaking to daddy, I found out that he did indeed tell daddy it was my favourite song then daddy asked him if he wanted to listen to it and toddler said “no, you can turn it off”.

I wish I could get into the head of a 3 year old and see exactly what is going on.

I have googled the subject to death and found that the unsettled, angry behaviour is quite normal but it still makes me feel guilty.  I am constantly wondering what I can do to make the situation easier for him.  He knows that we both love him and he enjoys the days out that we have together. 

Any advice?  I don’t want to end up with a screwed up angry teenager!

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